Preface

The author regrets that blog entries and updates could not necessarily be done in a timely fashion due to lack of internet access. All photos had to be added after the author returned to the US because of very, very slow internet connections.

Some names may have been changed to protect the guilty. Some names and stories have been kept out of the blog for the same reason.

Not all the information in this blog may be necessarily accurate or true (the author is a Totaro after all) due to the amount of red wine consumed prior to or during the time entries were being documented. Grammar and sentence structure may suffer as well.

ENJOY!

Newark, NJ to London, England

July 3, 2011

Utmost thanks to Jerry for taking me directly to Union Station this Sunday morning! I don't know whose brilliant idea it was to tell us to pack and use a duffel bag, and one without wheels at that, but I was never so glad to get rid of a bag as I was that thing. No wheels, no really comfortable way to carry the thing - almost 27 pounds of clothing and cosmetics. I wondered how the senior citizens who were part of our group were going to even get that bag from point A to point B. I ended up with the strap looped over my head, creating what looked like a major hickey behind my right ear and a major neck ache. This in addition to the 16.7 pounds of electronics squeezed into my backpack! Thank god for the gym!

So, with total weight just below the 44 pound restriction, so feeling like a pack mule, I hoofed to the Amtrak "quiet" car in Union Station. (There are quotation marks surrounding the word quiet because apparently many so-called adults do not truly understand the definition of the word). One woman was on her cell phone for the entire 3 hours, explaining to the numerous callers that she couldn't talk on her phone because she was in the quiet car. One father kept wrestling with his son in the seat behind me, talking loudly and telling his son to be quiet because they were in the quiet car.

Despite all that, Amtrak was definitely the way to go to the Newark Airport - 3 hours from Union Station to the airport. The train station stop was less than a 5 minute walk to the air train, which took you to whichever terminal you needed. In about a half hour I left the train, arrived at the terminal for British Airways, checked in that duffel bag, and was on my way to the gate. Because I was so early, I waited for Iris at Chili's, eating a burger and having a beer. Once Iris arrived we quickly caught up on what was happening in our lives. I don't know what made me look at my watch, but when I did I was startled to see that we only had about an hour before boarding. Since we didn't know what to expect with security, we thought we'd better hustle to get to our gate. Turned out everything went smoothly and we had a good laugh about the whole thing.

The plane seemed to be only half full (to our delight) so Iris was able to stretch across 3 middle seats and I stretched across the 2 we had for the 6-hour flight. As you can see from our photos, Iris and I were kept well supplied by our wonderful flight attendant, Carlos.

London, England to Johannesburg, South Africa

July 4, 2011

Happy July 4th! Hmmm, don't know why there's no celebration going on in jolly old England:)

Once we deplaned we quickly went through customs (thankfully the duffel was checked all the way through to Johannesburg) and followed the directions to the Sofitel Hotel in terminal 5, where we had the unprecedented luxury of the use of a day room to shower and nap before our 12-hour flight to Johannesburg later this evening. But, since Iris had never been to London, we had other plans to explore London during our 10-hour layover, so we emptied our backpacks of some of the electronics - putting them into the room safe - and hoofed it over to the Heathrow Express train to Paddington. We hopped on the Big Bus on-again, off-again 24 hour bus tour of London. Initially, we thought we had plenty of time to complete the 44-stop loop, relax with a pub lunch, and return to our room for a shower. Little did we know that in preparation for the 2012 Olympics and other events, so much of the city and the roadways would be under construction. The traffic congestion made the Washington, DC rush-hour traffic look like a walk in the park. As a result, we only made it as far as stop 32, the Marble Arch near Hyde Park, where we decided we needed to power walk back to Paddington to catch the express train back to the airport. I told Iris I felt like we were contestants in The Amazing Race. Needless to say, there was to be no shower and no pub lunch:(

We grabbed our belongings and ran to security, not knowing how long it might take us to get through. Thank god we made it through quickly so we were able to eat some delicious noodle dishes at Wagamama Restaurant.

Unfortunately for us, this longer flight of 12 hours was packed. Even worse, we were stuck in the middle section of the plane; my headphone handset was not working; and we had the high-definition stereo sound of children whining and screaming - one child from in front and 3 children under the age of 5 in the row behind us. (Thank god for night flights and the quiet that comes from an entire group of passengers passed out). If it weren't for my Johannesburg seatmate, Thuli Zulu (great name), entertaining us with hysterical commentary, we would have truly been pissed off ugly Americans.

Johannesburg, South Africa to Kruger National Park

July 5, 2011

Arrived at Johannesburg International Airport about 8 AM. Just had time to go through customs (quite easily done); grab our dreaded duffel (just as easily done); and find Dave from OAT (Overseas Adventure Travel). We couldn't believe how easily we managed through the airport, especially after all the trouble we had at the Kenya Airport last year.

By 10 AM we were at Lanseria Airport, where we were introduced to our pilot,Wehan and his co-pilot, handsome Rob. We hopped onto our little 12-seater plane for the 1-1/2 hour flight into Pafuri Camp in Kruger National Park. Most of us were lulled into naps from the steady drone of the engines and the overcast skies. Every now and then we would hear a series of beeps from the console - unsure if that was something we needed to be concerned with - but since the guys didn't appear to be worried, we figured we didn't have to worry either. After about 45 minutes, the skies cleared up and we were able to fly at a lower altitude, which was very cool until we approached the dirt runway. From my seat on the plane - the second row - that landing strip didn't look much longer than a football field. I had visions of us zooming off the far end into the trees - crashing to an ugly, painful death. Then I thought of all the movies I've seen featuring drug lords, smugglers and other low-lifes flying in and out of the same type of hidden landing strip, deep in the Amazon rainforests of Columbia, or all those Vietnam movies featuring heroic rescues against impossible odds. But we were not destined to meet our demise. Instead Wehan made a very smooth, very confident landing with more than enough runway to spare. There were about 5 people who watched us land. They boarded after we deplaned, and Wehan piloted them back to Lanseria Airport in Johannesburg. To say we were out in the middle of absolute nowhere would NOT be an exaggeration. We saw no signs of civilization (at least the 2-footed kind) for as far as the eye could see.

We knew we would like Jeffrey, our expert guide and tracker, when the first comment out of his mouth was about the "natural pistol" on the first of what would be hundreds of impalas we would see.

Then, after about 10 minutes in the jeep, we drove into the entrance of Pafuri Camp, managed by Wilderness Safaris. There were 3 staff members waiting to greet us with juice and wet washcloths to wipe away the dust. We followed Millet (one of the female staff members) to a small cluster of chairs in the outdoor lobby area overlooking the Luvuvhu River. It was an amazing view from a simple yet elegant setting.

After Millet reviewed the camp guidelines and guided us in filling out the room registration forms, she had us all follow her to Peyton & Sharon's "tent" so she could show us all the features at one time instead of repeating herself over and over. (The reason I am enclosing the word, tent, in quotation marks, is that these tents were not the kind of tent I envisioned - you know, the canvas, barely-large enough for 2 adults kind that you have trouble assembling on hard, uneven, rocky ground). 

The first interesting item we encountered before we entered our tents was a spear by the entry boardwalk of each tent. These spears were our equivalent of a "Do not disturb" sign. When in an upright position with the tip pointed upward, they signaled that it was okay for anyone to enter the tent. If the spear was placed in a horizontal position across the entry boardwalk, it signaled that you were NOT to enter the tent. (Of course we started screwing around with the spears instead of using them properly, but more on that later).

The "tents" were accessed by an 11.4 mile long, raised wooden boardwalk designed to keep visitors away from the animals that roamed below us, beside us and with us if you forgot to latch your door after leaving. The monkeys and baboons in the camp were so bold they would snatch anything you left outside on your veranda - cameras, snacks, clothing - some had even been spotted wearing bras that had been hung outside to dry! Our veranda faced the Luvuvhu river, where within 5 minutes of our arrival, we were treated to the sight of a huge elephant eating the day's meal very placidly and a crocodile lazily sunning itself. Monkeys and impala, kudu and nyala antelope surrounded the tent, going about their daily business of eating, grooming and babysitting. The birds were especially active during the day, singing, fighting and mating within 30 feet of the tent.

The beds were easily the most wonderful feature of the tent, especially after 2 nights of trying to sleep in an upright position in a cramped, economy-class seat (with the children's chorus behind us). Since it was winter and the nights were chilly, we jumped into bed in our thermal underwear and socks and snugged in under the incredible cocoon of duvets and covers. No wonder we were so reluctant to climb out at 5:30 AM to begin our day with breakfast followed by a morning safari.

The double bathroom sinks (a feature I don't even have at home) were quite luxurious. Iris took one and I claimed the other. All hot water was heated by the solar panels just outside the tent.

As mentioned earlier, there was both an inside and outside shower with a glass door between them. If inside, you had to make sure to latch the door unless you wanted to share your shower with all of nature's critters that happened to be in the neighborhood that day.

So, at 3 PM we began our daily, quite civilized ritual of afternoon tea, afternoon safari and incredibly delicious dinner. Two of the really nice safari touches featured individual, toasty blankets and a happy hour which included one complimentary drink + appetizers elegantly served from the pull-up tray attached to the front bumper of the jeep. We saw impalas by the hundreds, baboons, warthogs, nyala antelope, elephants, crocodiles, Burchell's zebras (donkeys in pajamas), guinea hens, lion prides at dark and hippos. One of the more interesting smells we noticed was that of the potato bush, which really was as fragrant and mouth watering as a baked potato.

Jeffrey prepares the evening safari happy hour cocktails.

Late, fantastically delicious dinners featured "love bites" - little, single-serving appetizers. Entrees were presented under stainless steel lids, which were ceremoniously opened on the count of three. Desserts were out of this world!

We were lucky enough to be granted an increase in total luggage weight from a combined total of 26 lbs. to 44 lbs. We were also lucky enough to have complimentary laundry service during the main part of the trip, which was 15 days. Since the local people did not wash personal items (bras and underwear, which they called "your smalls"), because of cultural reasons, the biggest challenge for packing was what to do about the underwear issue. Iris bought disposable underwear and I used the pantie liners (TMI I realize, but great info to have if you are under such constraints). Iris managed to make her disposable underwear last 2 1/2-3 days (see photo). I used pantie liners, which were much lighter to pack and took up very little space.

Disposable panties ready for the trash.

Kruger National Park, South Africa

July 6, 2011

After an incredibly restful sleep of over 8 hours, we awakened at 5:30 AM once again to begin our day with breakfast at 6 and departure at 6:30 AM. One of the chefs made absolutely wonderful pancakes to be served with honey. When I asked if they possibly had syrup, they responded with blank looks, but they did manage to locate some good old Log Cabin (after I finished eating mine). I was surprised by how good the honey tasted as a substitution. We also had to relocate the butter to a position closer to the syrup since everyone knows you butter the pancakes first and then apply the syrup.

Our first morning safari featured more impalas (OK, we're already bored by their shear numbers); yellow hornbill (AKA the flying banana); Burchell's zebras; lilac breasted rollers; Martial eagle; Kori bustard; saddle-billed stork; bush buck; cape buffalo; waterbuck; white-fronted bee-eaters; brown-hooded kingfisher and eland. Jeffrey explained all about the cucumber bush we sighted early - how its roots were ground into a powder that could be used in porridge to combat erection problems. He said the natives called the plant Mupesu, meaning "the one that lifts the ladies skirts." Of course that spawned many hilarious comments, such as "getting to the root of the problem."

Kori bustard

White-fronted bee eater

Burchell's zebras

Male kudu

Female kudu + baby

Male bush buck

Common waterbuck

Brown-hooded kingfisher

Bohm's bee-eater

The definite highlight of the evening safari was the male lion, whose bizarre behaviour could have been possibly explained by the fact that he was looking for a mate. Jeffrey first heard his roar while we were enjoying this evening's cocktail hour off the front of the jeep. Needless to say it's perceived proximity caused us to move very quickly to finish our drinks, stow our gear and climb back aboard the jeep for quick pursuit. It wasn't too long before we were inching slowly on a parallel path with the lion, who seemed to be in no apparent hurry and was clearly indifferent to our violation of his personal space. Of course my camera decided to act up at this critical moment, so I didn't get the high-level quality shots that I would have preferred. Some of the confusion was due to the fact that I couldn't see my settings as dusk was turning quickly to darkness (remember, it is winter here). Anyway, at one point the lion stopped in front of the jeep, turned around so that he was facing us directly, planted his face in the sandy dirt track, rolled around like a dog, got up and then just took off. When we asked Jeffrey what that was all about, he told us he had no idea - that he had, in fact, never witnessed such behaviour in a male lion. Unfortunately, during all this excitement, Don lost his jacket - with his prescription sunglasses - somewhere along the beaten path.

We returned to the camp and ate another fantastic dinner. Since it was very dark every night after dinner, we needed flashlights to see our way back to our rooms along the boardwalk. When we were about to turn onto our boardwalk we noticed that our spear had been placed horizontally (and not by us). It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who the culprits were (Pamela & Shelly), so we went to their tent, which was the next one down and put their spear across horizontally. But I thought we should do more than that so I suggested we go down the boardwalk all the way to their tent, hide in the shadows and scare the bejesus out of them. Needless to say, we were so successful all 4 of us peed ourselves screaming and laughing (Pamela left a spot on the deck to prove just that).

Kruger National Park, South Africa

July 7, 2011

Following our usual schedule of rising at 5:30 AM (Jeffrey's "knock knock", spoken softly at first then increasing in volume if you didn't acknowledge his presence the first time); breakfast at 6 AM; morning safari at 6:30 AM. Brutally cold this morning, so we took some hilarious shots of us bundled up looking like Middle Easterners or bandits.

Today we found a euphorbia bush. Apparently some of the natives use the poisonous latex from the plant to catch fish. They toss the latex into the water, it suffocates the fish and they float to the surface for easy gathering. This practice is apparently illegal today, but some people continue to use it this way.

Jeffrey took us down a route to show us the largest baobab tree in the area. It was a phenomenal tree (as you can see from the photos) and a great place for our morning tea & coffee. I included shots that could illustrate the actual scale of the baobab compared to the jeep and our group so you could get a better idea of its size. I walked around the entire tree base to explore other photographic opportunities. That's when I discovered a huge cave-like opening that all 9 of us could easily fit into, so we took multiple photos of that as well.

The baobab.

I see Iris and Shelly are up to their dirty tricks...

Some of the animals we spotted included cape buffalo, crown eagle, warthogs, elephants and meves (long-tailed starling).

Cape buffalo.

An impala that didn't quite make it.

The elusive lilac breasted roller.

The evening safari was over very rocky terrain where we spent equal time rocking back and forth like bobble-headed dolls and equal parts leaning inward to avoid being scratched to smithereens by the nasty acacia thorns. After Pamela and I jumped out to attend to nature at the back of the jeep, we continued onward. Less than 5 minutes later, my cell phone somehow slipped out of the jeep when I went fishing for my flashlight and disappeared into the surrounding darkness. I alerted Jeffrey, and he was kind enough to stop and get out of the jeep, come around to the back, lower the gate, pull out the spare tire, and search under the seats with a flashlight. Just as he was sliding the spare back under the last row of seats we heard a roar from a frightfully close location. Cries of "get in the jeep Jeffrey!!!!" rang in the night. I have never seen a guide move so quickly. Jeffrey slammed the rear gate, lunged into the driver seat, slammed his door and put the pedal to the metal. Any thoughts of retrieving my cell phone went by the wayside.

After we thought we were safe, we went back again to see if by some miracle we could see the cell phone in the dark. Jeffrey put the jeep in reverse. Pamela and I were in the last row of seats, each with a flashlight, searching each side of the track. Pamela thought she heard a branch snap so she raised her light a little bit to see what was going on. Just as she raised the beam slightly, we encountered a huge male lion not even 10 feet from us. I thought we both were going to pee ourselves - maybe even poop our drawers - we were so scared. (Even typing this makes me laugh out loud). I can't believe I had the presence of mind to take some excellent photos - didn't even need the zoom lens. I was prepared to be like Grizzly Man and document my own demise so everyone would know exactly what happened.

Following the track of a lion.

Out of the darkness...not more than 10' away...

Just wanted to check us out.

Finally, he had enough of us and our stupidity, so he wandered back into the darkness of the bush.

Since this was our last night at Pafuri Camp, we were treated to an incredible bush barbecue out in a huge clearing (don't know how we were being protected from the animals, especially since it was dark. Makes you eat very quickly). It was so cold we just wanted coffee, tea and more of the incredible dinner rolls they were serving. (I have been consuming way too many carbs since coming here. Any hopes of losing weight have gone by the wayside).

Kruger National Park to Johannesburg, South Africa

July 8, 2011

 Last morning safari through Kruger National Park before heading out to Botswana via Johannesburg and Zimbabwe/Victoria Falls. Jeffrey decided we would take one last look for my cell phone and Don's jacket and prescription sunglasses. Incredibly, Sharon spotted the jacket, to the left off the beaten track, looking more like a crumpled heap of something. Jeffrey hopped out of the jeep and went over to inspect the pile, then he held it up for Don's inspection. Sure enough, not only was it Don's, but his sunglasses were totally intact! Jeffrey said that the elephants probably tossed it around and ground it into the ground. Unfortunately for me, we did not find my cell phone.

Not many new sightings except for the birds. So far Iris and I have to agree with what we've read and heard that Kenya and Tanzania by far offer the most wildlife sightings, and that Kruger is best for its numerous bird sightings.

I did get a few snaps of the baboons (these seem to run away from the jeep, while the ones we saw last year ran toward us and even blocked the road sometimes, demanding food for safe passage). Probably the highlight of the shorter safari was watching a very colorful harrier hawk plunder a nest, looking for a baby bird smorgasbord.

Harrier hawk.

We returned to the lodge about an hour earlier than usual so we could eat brunch, pack, check-out and head to our little dirt runway for a flight back to Johannesburg. While we waited for the plane to arrive, I killed time catching up on my blog while the others tried to check off the animals, plants, tree and shrubs we spotted during our 3 1/2 day visit in the checklist book we were given as a gift from the lodge. Listening to them all talking at once was like listening to a class full of high school students. It was hilarious.

When we arrived at the runway for our flight back to Johannesburg, we noticed a group of zebras lallygagging smack dab in the middle of the runway. Jeffrey tried to scatter them by throwing rocks at them (very poorly, I might add) before the small plane arrived and cut them up into bite-size pieces, but they just moved a bit then returned as if daring him to throw at them again. Finally he just went at them in the jeep at a pretty good clip. They finally got the message and ran off to safety.

Zebras with low SAT scores and a death wish.

Our plane finally arrived so we said our goodbyes to Jeffrey and climbed back in to the 12-seater than we flew in just 3 days ago. Soon we were on our way back to Johannesburg and the four-star Protea Hotel OR Tambo Airport located next door to the Johannesburg International Airport. This modernized hotel was built in to resemble an aircraft hangar, and the industrial ambiance is reflected in the concrete floors, steel finishes, chrome lighting and top to bottom windows that overlook the airplanes as they dock and take off. The toilet in our room had one of those oxygen masks that dropped down from above when the cabin pressure drops to dangerous levels.

Iris readies herself for the drop in atmospheric pressure.

Iris thought we only had one bath towel, but I pointed out to her that we had to dissemble our little towel dog if we planned to use more towels. Before we did that, we made sure to take a photo since it was so unique. Another interesting feature of both this hotel and the camps was that there never seemed to be enough trash cans. Every place we stayed had one container for trash so some days we would just keep moving it from one part of the room to another because it just made it easier than trying to remember where it was.

Our little towel dog, Fluffy.

My first order of business was to contact T-Mobile via the internet so I could let them know I lost my phone. In my first chat session with Jessica N., I was informed: (1) that I didn't have insurance (on my free phone); (2) that I had to phone in the request to suspend my service; and (3) that I could upgrade my replacement phone. I don't know how many times I told Jessica: (1) I didn't feel the need to insure a phone that was free; (2) that I had no phone to call and suspend my service; and (3) I did NOT appreciate her viewing my stressful situation as an upgrade opportunity. After almost one hour of frustration back and forth, I finally had to ask for a supervisor. Edgar, the supervisor, finally informed me that my service was suspended and that I would be responsible for any calls made before the suspension. I told him I would be sure to let the Kruger baboons who made any long-distance calls to Borneo on my cell phone know that they were to reimburse me. First order of business upon returning home will be investigating another cell phone carrier.

This was the first opportunity to check email and start the blog since we now had internet access. I flowed the first 5 days' worth of copy for the blog but had a heck of a time getting the photos uploaded because the hotel's wireless connection was so slow. Finally I was so tired I decided to give it up and go to bed.